The last few weeks have been both lovely and nightmarish; lots of rain-free days playing in the garden and getting our project of edible landscaping off the ground, lots of singing nursery rhymes, making pictures and picnicking at the park, lots of enjoying being a mum and forgetting about the harder business of being a working mum; with no office to drive to, no externally-imposed deadlines and a muffler on my self-motivation, I have enjoyed the many bank holidays with my two little ones and at the same time felt guilty that my website isn’t finished, my blogging has dropped off, and the essential work of setting up my business has slipped further down the list of things to do.
I admit I have been the sort of person who would stay up late the night before handing in an essay, I have even been known to get up very early to finish off an essay on the day of handing in, my homework sometimes got done on the school bus, and in my working life I have always focused on the approach of results, not effort, being the important criteria of success.
But I love what I am doing now, balancing being there for my still very young children with working alongside my partner on setting up and establishing work that we can do together and that is exciting for us both, taking ideas that we have had for some time now and making them a series of realities.
What I need is more self-discipline, more structure and more control over my inclination to run after the latest exciting thing I have found, the trickiest bit as there has never been a more exciting time to be working (and playing) online.
I know I am passionate about what I am doing, I have the freedom now to work what I love, I have a vision of what I want to be doing, so now I need to turn it into an immediate reality; and if that means becoming a little bit more disciplined and focused I can do it, it will give the garden and the children a chance to grow through the summer term and me the chance to get set up and established with the work that I really want to do!